SINGLE MUM BANTS !

Being a single mom is not a curse !!! 
I would rather be a single mum than be an unfaithful wife, 
I will never trade my happiness for anything in the world, 
Getting married isn't the ultimate in life, if you are married and you do not respect the sanctimony of matrimony you have failed as a woman and a wife, 
Don't even come up to me with all that I will sin and ask God for forgiveness,or he pushed me it's the Devils handwork bullshit, 
You knew what you were doing cheating and having passionate sex with a man that isn't your spouse you enjoyed it you climaxed and came, 
In your private moments you still savor the feeling you got from the results of your lust and actions, 
You look at single ladies and you keep telling them It is my wish that you get married  and have a happy home like mine REALLY  ??? Tufiakwa God forbid !!!!!!! 
If you cannot make the man happy and do it the way you promised to at the alter walk away leave the man let another woman come and show you how it's been done staying there and  be nagging causing him unnecessary headache.

 It is only making you age more and faster, 
It is only a happy uterus that produces fertile eggs go and ask your doctor, 
You kneel and pray immediately temptation comes knocking you hug it like you have been waiting, suffering in the silence of your heart all because you want to remain MRS SOMEBODY , 
You go about cursing out all single girls because your husband is cheating on you hello wake up as you decided to occupy the lazy lads with your body and money the girls are likely to do the same maybe if you let the single guys be the babes would find husband material maybe half a yard in them, 
You didn't build with the man but you think he owes you all keep it up one day be one day sinner man go find himself for hellfire and e nor go fit return to repent again, 
Keep on judging the single moms and ladies remember you were once single and a married woman can always return back to being single and at that stage you become second hand like the rest of us single moms , we will now be the ones to school you on how to survive the hard knock life of being a single lady in her 30s who won't accept anything but the best , I might sound like I'm blabbing but experience is the best teacher ! 

TRUTH BE TOLD

TRUTH BE TOLD                   

It takes a wise person to set a trap without filling in any bait, the trap itself is the bait and also a trap,as a good listener and a kind hearted woman like most people will say I am I have sacrificed selflessly, I was always putting people before myself giving all I had keeping no love for myself loving my children sometimes became a chore,because by the time I have finished consoling my friends married and unmarried,giving loans to people who walk into shops to buy toys and fancy stuff while my children will have to make do with what mummy could provide not knowing that mummy could actually do  better,they still loved me unconditionally,I was far spent and living and thriving on superficial or borrowed love !

Sometime last year I had a sudden epiphany and realized ' I was only of use because I was a good listener ,a reliable friend ,madam fix it, the go to girl who would always give all and reserve none for herself, and I prayed and sought the counsel of God and my children and God told me to put him first and my kids next and then only then will I find peace,and I did as advised and I found my peace , 

I lost a lot of 'friends' but I wasn't worried I had my Jesus 

I felt lonely but I wasn't worried I have my children the bond grew stronger and I got to understand them more and love them more, 

My meager earnings suddenly became sufficient, I started shopping for my children more often than before ,instead of borrowing to friends and end up quarreling when payment is due or helping people who didn't need help I stopped being the assistant husband and human ATM to adults who have been granted more opportunities than I ever had, I FOUND PEACE, I was content, 

I just realized I had absolute control over my temper I wasn't angry at the world anymore I never questioned God instead all I did was praise him and thank him, 

 Yes it is not everyone that comes to you for help that truly needs help sometimes God is preparing them for the life they have ahead DO NOT INTERRUPT! 

Most often than not people are quick to tell you stories remember there's this side the other side and then THE TRUTH  !  

Peace brings happiness and I am glad I found my peace therefore I am happy, 

I am not afraid to loose more friends to me they are frenimies,I know who my true friends are they have never drained me ! 

Being focused and at peace is priceless that's where I am now and I have watched the amazing results of having the grace of God see me through no distractions no drama PEACE IS BLISS, 

It is better to be called your name than to be described by what you can offer, 

THE CHOICES WE MAKE IN LIFE LEAD US CLOSER TO OUR GOD GIVEN DESTINY BE CAREFUL ABOUT THE CHOICES YOU MAKE , THEY CAN EITHER MAKE YOU RISE OR LEAD YOU TO YOUR RUIN !

STORY OF MY STRUGGLES

A couple of years ago I was working as a manager for a guest house some where in the supposedly high brow area of the island
my pay was not fantastic but my job was challenging and interesting and I loved it because it thought me the art and act of patience and  got to meet all sorts of characters
I had 3 mds who were friends two of my mds were business minded the third was not he was more interested in what's in it for me island swag lagos big boy
anyways the third md which I will keep referring to as md3 was a nice person too but he had his own issues his friends liked coming over and always eating on credit ,taking rooms on credit I would talk and talk and talk and beg and beg and beg until my throat got sore yet no adjustments were made my staff were being beaten and insulted by this same people 'lagos big boys '
until me self receive beating of my life one day and this is how the story goes
md3 had this friend who is into the entertainment industry this his friend would always ask for discount and would still end up in owing even after a discount was given this yellow guy wasn't even the one paying for the room oh it was his yellow paw paw rich kid babe that was paying or the room on his behalf this is asides the plenty gifts and money she gave to the guy penny wise pound foolish why not rent house for the guy
anyways my salary had been cut and seized on previous occasions bekos of oga yellow md3 will draw leg commot say nor be him friend oh na me cause am I would always bear the loss
on this occasion I refused to be the scape goat and insisted that my money be paid before they mysteriously check out early hours of the morning this was inclusive of the food and drinks that were consumed by oga yellow and sisi yellow
they got back to the hotel and I bolted the main gate caging their car inside and leaving the pedestrian for them to be able to move about as far as I was concerned that car wasn't moving until my money was paid in full
had a polite talk with sisi yellow who ended up in abusing me bekos I refused to take half money after all the insults and threats were made I went up to my room to sleep md3 refused to get involved because he had granted a discount without informing and corresponding with me as regards this md 1 and md 2 were out of the country
30mins later oga yellow comes banging on my door that he is going to kill me I didn't answer in less than 10mins after than there were armed mopols breaking my room door down I as at this time was wearing my pjs I was thoroughly slapped my blackberry bold 5 phone was taken from me and I was dragged down the staircase of the guest house beaten again and laid on the interlocking tiles outside beaten in front of my staff guns used to hit my sides kicked and beaten like a criminal guess what I was been accused of kidnapping yellow sisi
the mopol said they were taking me to an unknown destination where I will be killed like the criminal that I had been painted to be it took a call to an aunt of mine to let them know they were in trouble and they started telling sisi yellow lets go there is trouble starting here now
have you seen where kidnapper will lock herself inside room? hmmmmm
anyways they beat me up and the gate was eventually opened and yellow sisi went home with her mopol escort
then oga yellow came at me at this time I was mad and bleeding and I launched at him and tore his kaftan and he kept trying to hit me it took all my staff about 6 in number to put me in check because as far as I was concerned that boy was dead
thanks to an uncle of mine the dpo of a near by police station came and oga yellow was arrested and we both went to the station to make statements this is about 3am in the morning in all this md3 was at the back and refused to come out
the next morning I went back to he police station and yes oga yellow was still der yellow sisi had not come for him upon all the calls 'baby come and get me his bitch just brought me here and bribed the police' na lie she nor show
next morning md3 appears from only God knows where forming macho meanwhile md 1 and md2 had been contacted and they sent their friends to me to make sure I get all the help and assistance I need
while still trying to go to the hospital to get a medical report as instructed by the police some more reinforcement arrived fully armed men from federal sars adeniji hmmm e don be for me na who am I who knows my father or my mother I was been carried for questioning in connection with a kidnap case that had been reported ,they came fully armed with bullet proof vests and guns I followed them still bleeding and swollen all over
yellow sisi at work I go there and she narrated how I locked her up in a room and stated making calls that I have them that the kidnappers should come
well I had the help of influential people and it was seen that it was all a lie and there was power tussle
we were referred back to the police station where oga yellow was chilling and then a fellow woman like me collected bribe that was how the case died and my phone was never seen or replaced
Today yellow sisi is still bleaching and appearing all over the place as a big girl ,oga yellow still hotel hopping with sugar mummys and babes that can pay his bills
I am still here working hard to make myself a brand so that I wont need to introduce myself and while im at it im sharing my stories so that others can learn
the painful part of all this is that one of the stupid men from federal sars keeps harassing me with phone calls and text messages of how he would like to be friendly with me I have told this man no no no yet he wont listen, the opportunity he had to play superman he blew it, I never got justice and I will never forget ! But that doesn't mean I will give up 

I will keep working hard until I myself become a brand 

before the rains come thunder 

after the rains the crops grow 

after the harvest the mission is accomplished 

the soul is fulfilled and at peace ! 

BRING BACK OUR GIRLS !

She got married at a very young tender age to a very wealthy herdsman/ farmer 

She would have loved to go to school but her parents couldn't afford it so they let her go easy fast and young,

From that day she promised herself that her children would get an education have an opportunity to have a Better life 

9 months she toiled as home maker and wife atlast cries of a new born are heard mother and baby are ok, the struggle continues 

From Arabic school at a tender age she pleaded with her husband to allow her daughter go to school with a promise that hadiza will not fail them 

Reluctantly but hopefully he agrees hadiza is the prime jewel of the family she's going to do her parents proud 

Gracefully she walks respects her elders and excels in her studies the future is bright 

Hadiza says her prayers thanking God for her parents and the opportunity that they have given her 

............... There is chaos in school hadiza is kidnapped from her comfort zone where she has found out her love for education and what it can do for her 

Hadiza is terrified she is scared who are these people what do they want with her all she desires is an education and a better life a chance to make her parents proud an opportunity of a lifetime she was given 

So many questions no answers ?

Where are they taking her to ?

Who are they ?

What do they want ?

What will happen next ?

What will her parents do ?

How will they feel ?

Will they kill her ?

So many question no answers 

All hadiza can pray for is help that she may be found that her parents are ok what of the federal government will they come to her aid 

And all she can wish for is to be home with baba and mama impacting the little she has learned onto her younger ones 

She taught school was safe she taught her school was the pathway to her brighter future 

Baba and mama did all they could for her but why is she here and she says to herself I'm just a child and I have dreams and I'm hopeful 

But please I want to go home 

With each passing day Hadiza is hopeful that she will be saved 

Bring our girls home #bringbackourgirls 

They have to be here to build from where we will stop to continue from where our strength fails us ! 

MARRIAGE over rated or not !for convenience or inconvenience !

I'm an 80s 90s kid and yes I think marriages nowadays are always over rated, 

Yes overrated because some people think that marriage makes you a better person or insome cases a richer person or in other cases a beautiful person or an updated version of you,

Now here is what I think marriage should be 

Marriage is a union between two people who are friends two people who have Decided to build a life together despite the odds despite their differences ,contrary to popular opinion marriage is not a bed of roses it's a table for two with a meal that is prepared by both parties for both parties with the necessary ingredients to foster growth and the right aids to heal wounds and the right smiles to add sunshine to a gloomy day and most importantly the right words to express true feelings without losing the essence of it all "UNITY" 

So yes marriage is not what people tend it to be how can something that is between two imperfect humans be perfect ? 

In my generation I see a lot of people getting married for different reasons 

- money 

- class 

- children 

- beauty

- pedigree /social status/ educational background 

- ladder climbing ambitions 

- convenience 

Money,They seem to forget that money can buy you the things that you think will make you happy but not happiness itself ,some would go to any length to have money make money they fake it till they make it they lie they cheat they do all sorts of things unimaginable things forgetting that vanity upon vanity all is vanity money was made to serve man not man to serve money I could go on and on about this but I will leave you to figure out the rest,

Class,class is personified that person you look at that has a lot of class is actually aspiring to be like someone else who most likely is always improving on him or herself that's why the persons character always changes some even come across to you as bipolar in the beginning and you over look it and later you start realizing that the person keeps changing and you've got to always be on your toes because you hardly know that person anymore and so shall it always be when a computer is constantly upgraded it never stays the same 

Children,when you get married for the sole aim of procreation you are a tool Infact both parties are tools because at the end of the day these lovely children who are blessings from God will leave you and go a build a home, a home that would be better than yours by Gods grace and what will you be left with nothing but your tool box staring you in the face and what happens to an old tool box it's left In The garage and rot and decay becomes the portion of it so you see you end up In nothingness 

Beauty,I believe that beauty is skin deep beauty is never on the surface it's from the inside ,beauty isn't bleaching or wearing beautiful designer clothes beauty is being able to touch people's life's in many more ways than one beauty is being able to fill a room with your good aura and leave people wondering what makes you so simplified and yet so special beauty is being able to love someone who will never be able to repay you beauty is being able to show your faith in God through your lifestyle 

Pedigree/ social status etc- ask the high and mighty who have married because of this same reason take a good look at their life and it will answer all your questions 

Ladder climbing ambitions, take a tout clean him up wear him a tuxedo and present him to the royals as a dignified person you have succeeded in changing his looks but not the blood that pumps out of his heart he will always be affiliated with his roots you can change the past but never the present he will always be seen as the brushed up dude who's a wanna be childhood jokes would be shared he would laugh along like a bourgeoise  but will never know the reason for the laughter but for how long can one dwell in a skin that's not his or hers ? 

Convenience, so her parents are rich or his parents are well to do so ? It only goes to show how lazy you are how mentally handicapped you are don't you know that without them you can even be destined to be greater than them don't ever underestimate yourself 

Ok I think Iv said enough I hope this will serve as a means of re orientation for a whole lot of people so that we have less divorce cases less broken homes less children growing up thinking that it's ok to marry for convenience I hope this would heal some wounds and prevent some I hope this made sense and I'm hoping that people will marry for love and unity.

Team work has never gone wrong when the team players are selflessly dedicated to the sole aim and goal of the team ! 

HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF ?

When ever you go for a job interview they will always ask you this question

Tell me about yourself ?

At that moment what you say goes a long way to tell your intending employers what you think of yourself,

If you are confident they will know 

If you are tribalistic they will know 

If you are a team player they will know 

Often times I do what I call getting to know me better I write stuff I like about myself down on a piece of paper and those I don't like I write also I even go further write the things I wish I could change and those I have succeeded in changing.

I see myself as an African woman a proud Nigerian a woman of substance a freethinker and a very lovable person because I'm not really the judgmental type.

It is important to know who you are and be proud of it despite what ever people have told you man know thyself and to thy own self be true.

Everyone is special in their own way everyone belongs to a great team called #theliving 

 Today is here cherish it relish in the beauty of the gift of life it's the best gift and most priceless of them all.

Be confident of who you are and what you stand for don't fall for anything start a trend of your own we were all born great,do not hold onto anything that doesn't give you joy spread love share the joy of living 

Do not let the things of life hold you down get up and fight you have the zeal you've got the power get up and put up a good fight.

Make an impact today 

Running away from the truth about yourself is cheating nature and life and you can't cheat both for no one has control over them but your creator 

Embrace your chi and work on being a better person everyday the time is now it's never too late dreams are there for a reason and everything in life has it's season 

Greatness comes from within dig deep don't remain a slave of negativity ! 

I just thought to drop these few words because Iv come across a few people who do not know how great they are I feel they need to read this and begin to live again and stop existing 

I love you all but God loves you more ! 

From the depths of happiness

Hey my country people make Una nor vex oh iv been missing in action yes I know and I'm very very sorry,na nija cause am oh I have two jobs and this is a hobby so keeping up sometimes would be Herculean all the same I am so

Yes I'm writing this post from the depth of happiness I say so because I finally know what love is, yeah I know you will say this girl has come again yes na me I have come to give you my own understanding based on my experiences.

All these years iv been looking for love in all the wrong places they told me love was sacrifice I gave more than I was getting,they said love is humble I was been treated like a slave,they said love is patient ahhhhh I was used over and over again all this and more I allowed to happen because i thought I was doing it for love but hey I'm grateful and thankful for those experiences because they have brought me to this happy place where I am right now that has made me realize myself, I have mastered the act of self love and finding happiness within my self,

When I arrived at this destination through my journey in life love found me I wasn't even searching but love sought me out and adorned me with its bliss, 

So yes I'm writing from the depth of happiness I have friends that love me and accept me the way I am yes I still do have those queer ones but I know where to place them and how to deal with them I call it shelving 

I met someone born of a woman beautiful inside out good friend great confidant,love adores love doesn't ask love doesn't feel like a burden everything you do when the love is meant to be comes naturally and effortlessly, 

Love gives you peace happiness as joy that makes you glow so yes love is bliss when it's right and it's expressed in the right portions with the right person, 

So happiness is key you have to be happy with yourself and love yourself for love to find you ! 

Love is peace bliss and joy !

I WANT IT ALL

I want it all !!!!! 

I want the good life I want to be happy I want control over my finances I want control over my emotions , I want that fantastic Job that beautiful house that loving man the good friends ,admiration from all I want it all 

Yes I am greedy but I'm human who nor like better thing I want the goodies and I'm not going to lie about it I'm going to keep it real,

I want to go on holidays and dress fancy when the need arises and feel great while leaving a fulfilled life ! 

That's just what will make me happy. 

How am I going to get all these things I want well I was told by my father 12 years ago that I will have to work hard for it, and I have been doing just that but I haven't gotten it all yet and I'm not happy about that but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't continue working hard,

I'm human yes I have thought of the second wife approach but well I'm not used to being Inlove and having that bed empty all the time while he warms another bed, 

I have also taught about doing what other girls do but hey I'm a lover girl there has to be a chemistry before anything and I'm very picky above all I value myself too much to be someone's pawn ,

Quick money through illegal business nor be my destiny oh I can't shout my father will get up from his grave and kill me ahhhh noooo I can't it's so not me 

I still want it all and I'm going to get most of it if not all of it and iv decided to just keep working hard you see that thing try call opportunity I'm always prepared for it and I grab it when I can because I'm a go getter I know what I want.

I'm not going to sell my self short because I want to get there with my intergrity intact. 

It doesn't mean if I fall deeply Inlove with a rich guy I won't marry him,sure I will I just want it all as long as it's real and makes me happy. 

What do you want ? 

What are you doing about it ? 

How far have you gone ? 

Do you want the right things ? 

How many times do you do a reality check ? 

Am I wrong to want it all ? 

Have you ever felt this way ? 

This feeling called love

I embarked on a journey to Benin to spend the new year with my family,and it was worth every bit of it including the stress and all the questions been asked and corrections been dished out and taken in good faith because they want me to be a better person because they love me. 

The most comical but confusing part was that I met an old flame of mine,yeaaaah I'm capable of love every human being is, 

This meeting brought about old sweet memories,how I used to scale the fence to get into his bq because his dad didn't want girls sleeping over and I was a stubborn cat I just loved to cuddle and I loved the fact that we cooked together when I was in the kitchen cooking and he was at home he would cook with me and sometimes take over the kitchen he is a great cook and lover,

How he never wanted me to go home and that was always a problem ,

The scaling of fence part was what tripped me the most it had become official that people had to scale the fence so the back yard neighbors just helped us by setting blocks even when I'm about to scale they would greet me and gist with me, lol , before I scaled te fence I would whistle in our signature tune and he would answer if he was home and it was ok to scale , even the gateman had his own tune and he would answer if the coast was clear , 

Yeah the love was rugged and strong like that I called him my black king and he called me his 1st love ,

It was a rugged ruff and sweet love but we were crazy Inlove,

Even after years he still kept in touch and I always responded like a friend not his love because I had moved on not seen him in 8 years last time I saw him a was a mother now and u had matured far more than my age required so I didn't even bother to understand when he kept on calling me to ask how I was doing and how motherhood was, 

So he called this new year and I was bored so I said ok I will meet him up for a drink so we met and we gisted and recounted all the crazy things we had done together and all the sweet moments. 

Funny though but true I still have feelings for him I just realized when we sat to talk, and he kept on telling me why do you think iv kept in touch all these years,now he is more matured and he is in absolute control of his feelings so much so I can see him hiding them and In my head I like the old crazy jealous possessive him more ( u see wahala back then I wanted him to grow up now his grown I want the old fun part of him ) but he is still a friend all the same the only person that likes my kolo ! 

So you see this thing called love if it is allowed to mature it goes two ways it's either you fall more deeply in love or you fall out of love.

Our love was cut short by immature decisions and our respect for our parents opinions because both families knew themselves and kept on telling us that we  should take care of one another(like brothe and sister thingy) we sure did that and more lol as a sharp babe ! I can't see a good thing and not partake never said I was a saint ! Lol 

Sometimes it's best to just let love be if it will be it will be,my friend saw me today and said babes you are glowing you look lovely this Benin trip did you a whole lot of good and my reply was very honest and it made me feel good as the words came out I said "it's good to be Reminded how beautiful a woman I am how much I can be loved and respected how much I can be wanted by one man and mean all to him,it feels good babes to sit with a friend and have him remind you of who you are incase you just lost yourself in the hussle of life " 

When you expreince love make it work fight the odds of public opinion hold onto your feelings for each other because everyone knows good friends make the best lovers ! 

I hope I fall Inlove like this again, all over again because it's real and refreshing ! 

Have a lovely week ahead y'all ! 

#This ones for you My Black King thank you for reminding me of how good a lover I can be when I'm truly Inlove ! 

Happy new year

Happy new year guys

This year is an opportunity to start afresh to write a fresh beautiful chapter concerning everything that makes your life more meaningful,

Let go of the past we are here today and now let's keep moving and be happy ,

This year iv decided to be happy and live my life to the fullest 

I'm in Benin right now enjoying the simple pleasures of life good food extremely lovely sense of humor from the most real people you can ever meet. 

It's only a wise man that uses the mistakes from his past to acquire knowledge,

Every experience brings wisdom every decision in life requires wisdom 

It is my prayer this year that we all become better people in order to have a positive impact on our family and communities respectively 

God is love and light may his love and light abide in our hearts daily have a lovely blessed and purpose filled new year ! Amen